Tags
anxiety, mental health, mental illness, mentally ill, psychiatry, psychology, relationships, schizophrenia]
(If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I don’t feel sorry for myself. I frequently write about the beauty I find and see in life even though I battle with a severe mental illness. I don’t want people to think that my illness does not impact my life, though. It would not be accurate or truthful to say that living with schizophrenia is easy. For me, and many others, it is not. Yesterday I posted something that was 100% positive so I thought I would give a little glimpse into the struggles that some of us with schizophrenia go through as well. I am not complaining. This essay reveals another side to living with mental illness).
I’m not always sick or experiencing symptoms of my illness. There are hours, and when I am lucky, whole days, where my symptoms are not present and I am just an average woman going about my life. During these asymptomatic times, I simply don’t stand out.
Forty-one days ago my husband’s aunt was moved into hospice. We immediately drove to Los Angeles hoping to beat the march of death and tell her good-bye. We were able to be with her, and her immediate family for eleven hours in the hospital. I was able to share memories, comfort her daughters and enjoy the company of extended family during a difficult, sad, stressful and solemn time. I managed the whole day with calm, serenity, strength and grace. I was able to say good-bye to someone I cared about without worrying at all about schizophrenia.
A few days later, we went back to Los Angeles for my husband’s aunt’s funeral. When we walked into the chapel, anxiety overwhelmed me. I couldn’t sit still. I went downstairs to the bathroom. I walked back up and sat in a pew. I walked outside. I could not get comfortable. I told my husband I was struggling. After a half hour of him trying to help me overcome my symptoms, my husband said, “You need to take some more medication today.” I did so willingly because I knew that he was right.
My husband and I spent the ceremony in the car trying to relieve my symptoms. When it came time to move to the graveside for the burial, I tried to join the other people mourning. I walked downhill and stood near the casket. I couldn’t stay, though. After a few minutes, I made my way back to the car. I climbed into the back seat and tried to nap (usually a higher dose of my medication will put me to sleep for a while). Before I knew it, my husband was in the car, and we were on our way to having dinner with a large group of family and friends.
I thought sleeping would help and that my symptoms would be gone but they weren’t. I was hoping that some food would calm me down. At the restaurant, I ate as much as I could. I still felt shaky and anxious. My niece asked me to go shopping with her. We went shopping and stopped by Starbucks. By the time we returned, most people were saying their good-byes.
It wasn’t until we got in the car and started to drive home that my symptoms finally subsided. I said to my husband, who had been so helpful to me all day, “I am fine now.”
There are times when I can be the support that my loved ones need and there are times when I need their support to enable me to get through a day with schizophrenia. For me, the illness is unpredictable, and that means I have to accept my weaknesses when they are present and stand firm in my strength when I have a full supply.
Thank you for sharing this. We do not expect our younger daughter to participate in memorials and funerals as they overwhelm her…they can be especially challenging and trigger her symptoms for weeks. I’m glad your husband was able to help you through this experience.
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Thanks!
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Thank you so much for sharing this post. I’m glad you had support from your husband and I’m sure you will be able to support him when he needs it. It is definitely the kind of relationship you need. I can so relate to this post and many of your other posts so I am following you!
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Thank you so much for your kind words and support!
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i read your post yesterday and now this one today – and really appreciate and respect you for sending out both of them. You have a beautiful way of expressing very complicated emotions that makes them accessible to others and that’s a great gift. When you come to Los Angeles I would love to meet you if you ever have time for coffee or a quick get together. I am an artist and STT therapist and my 23 year old son is living with us he has schizophrenia too but a mild case of it so he hasn’t accepted it yet and I often wonder when he will. I am in Alcoholics Anonymous myself so I have one of the “invisible disabilities” that most people don’t understand. It’s frustrating to be misunderstood and people often say things that are so inaccurate and can also be very hurtful. It’s crazy to me that there’s so much judgement about mental health and addiction challenges. I particularly love the way you write – I used to be a highschool English teacher and have always loved the artful writing.
I will continue to follow your writings and look forward to knowing you just a little bit via cyberspace.
Xoxo Anna – a friend is LA
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Thank you for your kind words and support! I go to Los Angeles more in the winter and spring (from November to April). I would love to have coffee. xo
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Oh wow that would be great I’d love to visit with you over coffee or whatever! I also have a blog in case you have time for a peek at Annareyner.wordpress.com
It may not be a topic of interest to you but thought I’d throw it out there. But the way I m an art therapist (I couldn’t figure out how to correct the typo on my previous comment). Looking forward to meeting you this winter when you are in LA. Thanks again Anna
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Oh wow that would be great I’d love to visit with you! I also have a blog in case you have time for a peek at Annareyner.wordpress.com
It may not be a topic of interest to you but thought I’d throw it out there. By the way I m an art therapist (I couldn’t figure out how to correct the typo on my previous comment). Looking forward to meeting you this winter when you are in LA. Thanks again Anna
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I started following your blog. Your work looks really cool. Coffee in LA sounds fun!
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I so enjoy your transparency!
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Thank you!
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